CheapThrills

Banning Outdoor Advertising is for Suckas

My dad just sent me a post by Max Kalehoff, writer for Mediapost’s blog, Online Spin. The post discusses Sao Paolo’s recent ban of all outdoor advertising. Specifically:

“The statute’s most visible impact promises to be at eye level and above. The outsized billboards and screens that dominate the skyline.... All other forms of publicity in public spaces, like distribution of fliers, will also stop. The law also regulates the dimensions of store signs, and will force many well-known companies to reduce them substantially by a formula based on the size of their facades. Another provision, much criticized by owners of transportation companies, outlaws advertising of any kind on the sides of the city’s thousands of buses and taxis. The law, as passed, also applied to advertising banners trailed by airplanes and ads on blimps.”

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!

I work at an ad agency, so what? I’m also not your typical ad gal – being very concerned with the dangers of media consumption and all.

But I live in this world, and though many might huff and haw over it, advertising is a part of culture. It's also an art form, just like graffiti is (oh no she didn’t!).

So get over yourselves, Sao Paolo and Santa Barbara. And you too, PC “we could learn a lot from banning outdoor advertising” commenters... you know who you are. Stop acting like erasing billboards will improve your quality of life.

If you want a “beautiful” roadway, get off the highway – or, even better, see ads as beauty in thought, time, and research.

If you want a tranquil neighborhood, move out of the city.

Because any real city-dwelling, cosmopolitan urbanite lusts after Times Square’s electrifying chaos. We understand that it pumps New York City’s heart.

And this is utterly heart-blocking.

PS - Check out the entire, sad Flickr photoset. 

Ryan's Wish List: May 2007

April showers bring Mayflowers, and with any luck also some of these happy little treats:

1. An extremely cute brown Mini Rex bunny rabbit that also fits into the new breed “POOPLESS.”
2. And if poopless bunnies aren’t currently available, I need to get over my very vocal aversion to punt-able small dogs and admit to the world that I actually find Puggles adorable. Then I want a Puggle that costs less than $1,500 to keep me company when I’m lonely and to disappear when I’m on vacation or watching America’s Next Top Model.
3. An excuse to laugh so hard that I can barely breathe.
4. Cheap lobsters, 3.
5. A way of permanently erasing the memory of the "Bush Dancing with the Africans” clip while simultaneously punching him in the face.
6. A wireless chip for my iPod so that I can sync it to iTunes without plugging it in to my computer. Moreover, this chip would enable download of content straight from the source to the iPod. So, for example, someone I know loves NPR podcasts – I want him to be able to subscribe to the NPR feed directly from his iPod and cut out the middleman. I’m sure someone out there can tell me if/when I can find something like this… yes?
7. The ability to stop biting this one, sorry nail – my ring finger on my left hand. It’s gotten ridiculous. Only really happens when I concentrate on something, so maybe I should just stop concentrating.
8. A hottie little black dress for my friend’s wedding in July – where should I look?
9. A real reason to go on Facebook. It’s so boring right now… every time I login to my account I take deep sigh of regret for the 30 seconds I’ve wasted. Sometimes my mouth goes numb and I start drooling a little as well (it’s weird).
10. Private, one-person bathrooms at work with background muzak and Charmin’ toilet paper.

Hopefully I’ll be able to check off some of these items by the end of the month. Feel free to contact with any suggestions on how to do so.

Conversation, new and improved for 2007!

The Age of Conversation deadline is quickly approaching, and apparently some of my fellow authors have already sent in their work. Dang! Happily, I got past the terrifying blank white page and am now quite pleased with the direction my piece is headed.

What’s cool about this e-book is that it will essentially redefine the idea of “conversation.” What does the term mean in 2007? Clearly something different than it did 50 years ago. And now it’s up to us, brave soles indeed, to craft a new concept. 

Kudos to all 100 bloggers, I can only imagine the frighteningly glorious wisdom they will put forth. And in the meantime, I would advise spending plenty of time with their thoughts.

PS – I laughed and cried at the same time when I saw my name second to last on the list of authors. Then I remembered that I’m a newbie, and I just continued laughing and stopped crying. Then I skipped to the ice cream shop.

Gavin Heaton
Drew McLellan
CK

Valeria Maltoni
Emily Reed
Katie Chatfield
Greg Verdino
Mack Collier
Lewis Green
Sacrum
Ann Handley
Mike Sansone
Paul McEnany
Roger von Oech
Anna Farmery
David Armano
Bob Glaza
Mark Goren
Matt Dickman
Scott Monty
Richard Huntington
Cam Beck
David Reich
Mindblob (Luc)
Sean Howard
Tim Jackson
Patrick Schaber
Roberta Rosenberg
Uwe Hook
Tony D. Clark
Todd Andrlik
Toby Bloomberg
Steve Woodruff
Steve Bannister
Steve Roesler
Stanley Johnson
Spike Jones
Nathan Snell
Simon Payn
Ryan Rasmussen
Ron Shevlin
Roger Anderson
Bob Hruzek
Rishi Desai
Phil Gerbyshak
Peter Corbett
Pete Deutschman
Nick Rice
Nick Wright
Mitch Joel
Michael Morton
Mark Earls
Mark Blair
Mario Vellandi
Lori Magno
Kristin Gorski
Krishna De
Kris Hoet
Kofl Annan
Kimberly Dawn Wells
Karl Long
Julie Fleischer
Jordan Behan
John La Grou
Joe Raasch
Jim Kukral
Jessica Hagy
Janet Green
Jamey Shiels
Dr. Graham Hill
Gia Facchini
Geert Desager
Gaurav Mishra
Gary Schoeniger
Gareth Kay
Faris Yakob
Emily Clasper
Ed Cotton
Dustin Jacobsen
Tom Clifford
David Pollinchock
David Koopmans
David Brazeal
David Berkowitz
Carolyn Manning
Craig Wilson
Cord Silverstein
Connie Reece
Colin McKay
Chris Newlan
Chris Corrigan
Cedric Giorgi
Brian Reich
Becky Carroll
Arun Rajagopal
Andy Nulman
Amy Jussel
AJ James
Kim Klaver
Sandy Renshaw
Susan Bird
Ryan Barrett
Troy Worman

Justin.tv, Let's See Your Bedhead

Justin Kan wears a webcam on his head and broadcasts his life to the world 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

What interests me most is not the major leap into this new wave of social media (though it is pretty neat that viewers can interact with Justin live via text or phone call), but rather the root of a viewer’s interest in such a program.

After tuning in to Justin.tv on and off for the past few days, I’ve been less taken by his deep intellectual conversations with fellow bloggers, start-up entrepreneurs, etc., than by his normal day-to-day routines.

Justin claims that he’s putting much of his “personal” life on hold (partying, dating, sex) while he tests the marketing waters.

However, since so many already tune in to watch him sleep, I wonder if the truly personal will in fact attract the most eyeballs for the longest amount of time.  His SSB, perhaps (Sex and the City speak for Secret Single Behavior):

Obsessing over a long nose hair in the bathroom mirror
Taking twenty minutes to find the “good pen”
Letting out an unabashed giggle at a funny memory
Smelling sweaty t-shirts
Scarfing down a Big Mac and fries
Reading with nostalgia old text messages and emails
Deleting names from the cell…

Basically, the things we all do that don’t make it onto reality shows. 

Will the ability to view someone else’s quirky little mannerisms and day-to-day routines affirm our own normality?

What do you think?

It's my HEAD, Schwartz, it's MY HEAD! Ryan's Brush with the ENT

Why was I the last to know that the Ear, Nose and Throat clinic is the epicenter of evil? 

I always thought of the ENT as a nice little practice where doctors massage swollen glands, cure ear infections and depress tongues.  No removal of shoes, no over-starched blue gowns and embarrassing nakedness, just a chair and a kind man with one of those ear contraptions that gets warm and lights up at the end.    

My first clue that I was entering hell:  the chair.  Not a nice comfy chair.  The chair was stiff and metal with cold flat “armrests” and “footrests.”  A large heavy device hung above the chair, seemingly to hold one’s head in place.

The doctor peeked inside of my problem ear briefly, and then decided that I should go to Audiology for a hearing test.  I remembered those from grade school – the school nurse always wore a smile and carried with her well-cushioned earphones. 

I have to say that the Audiologist was quite nice, but she lead me into a hallway that quite literally resembled Alcatraz’s D Block (the “hole”).  She shut me into a 6’ X 6’ chamber with two soundproof doors after putting this ridiculous pressure thing behind my ear. That kind of sucked.

Turned out that I passed my ear exam with flying colors.  I went back to the MD and that hard chair thinking my appointment was over.  He came back in and started to explain that the middle ear is actually depressurized by this one small pathway from the nose.  When this pathway gets blocked (or things start to grow in it… umm, gross!?), we experience ear popping and pressure.  So perhaps my pathway was blocked.

“Now, I’m going to look in your nose.  I mean, really in it.”  He sprayed this bitter substance into my nostrils (and remarked “my spray is bitter, yes?) and then left the room.  When he returned, he was carrying a 2-foot long, thin, hallow metal rod. 

He started feeding the rod up my left nostril.  I figured he’d only go about an inch, but after one inch came another, and another.  I wiggled in the seat with straight, scared legs and blurred vision.  The inner-awkwardness of the feeling made me queasy.

My right nostril was problematic.  Basically, the doctor told me that it was inflamed inside and started probing inside of it with that damn rod.  I started shrieking.  My two front teeth went numb.  I’ve never experienced that kind of pain before.  He took the rod out and I almost started sobbing because it was the only emotion that adequately portrayed the terror of the whole thing.  And funny, the doctor looked at me like I was crazy.

“I only got about half an inch in.  Let’s try again.”

“Absolutely not.  No, no. No. There’s no way that tube is coming near me again.”

I ran out of that clinic.  Why wasn’t I warned?  I was nose-raped!  ENTs are trying to connect all of our sinuses together with tubes and scary equipment. It’s like a fun little maze to them, but not to me it’s not!  Not to MEEE!

...P.S. Why are these people so okay with this?

Vote me onto MTV's next Real World

Can the digital community get someone onto a reality TV show?  Let's do an experiment...

I'm 24.  It's the last year that I can audition for MTV's The Real World. 

I want to bring the show back to its roots by making everyone laugh and running around like a total silly-head.  'Course, I guess I'll have to shake my booty a coupla times, but ain't no harm in that.

I'll send this audition tape to MTV eventually - but only after experimenting with the power of the digital social community.  This is also on YouTube and Google Videos... but I really want to get feedback from my fellow bloggers.

Let's see what we can do.  Watch it, share it, rate it, comment on it, and let's see if MTV notices.  Help me get onto the next Real World, lovely friends!

P.S. If I get on the show, I'll give all of my supporters a shout out by name in the confessional and send tons of goodies.