CheapThrills

A red-blooded American man's opinion on Palin (+ Tina Fey SNL debate skit. Hilarious)

Concerning last week's VP debate...

I found these comments on my last post and felt they deserved their own space. The comments were actually written before Lowry's ridiculous "starbursts" blog post... is Lowry reading CheapThrills?!? ;)

From PDaddy -

When Sarah Palin winked at camera, I felt she was winking right at me and my heart went all aflutter. Maybe it is a guy thing, but she really connected with me. I honestly cannot see why any red-blooded American man would not want her to be the VP -- she can memorize the playbook; she is really pretty; she wears nice clothes; and most important, she stands by her (Mc)-man! She is the stepford wife turned politician...and what's so bad about that? (wink)

Yes, that pin really caught my eye (the one that wasn't rather continuously winking back at my Sarah), and oh, what a satiny dress suit! (...or suit dress, or whatever it is called) But even more than that, I was so captivated by her folksy persona -- when she spoke about Joe-Six pack it really resonated with me. (And my wife liked Palin, too, because she [my wife] is a soccer mom to my son, who, yes... plays soccer!). And, I must say that I was so impressed...no haunted... by Palin's stepford thing. Spooky and sexy at the same time. 

I really think that it all got the best of me -- her wink, her dress, her lapel, her haunting stepford thing -- so much so that later, after the debate was over, I could not remember a single substantive point about any of her policy positions, save some vague stuff about her being a 'maverick' who's on a 'good ticket' with her man McCain. And that's a shame, because according to Ed Rollins on CNN and some other conservatives on talk radio, she really had a lot to say. I can't believe I am so shallow that I got swept away by her eye (not her eyes, exactly), her satin dress, he bejeweled pin, her folksy tone, her maverick image, and her sexy obsequiousness that I missed all the important things she said.

I'll post more from PDaddy sometime this week. On the topic of apes and evolution.

Thoughts on last night's VP debate

I haven’t yet read anything from the spin room. I've only talked to a handful of people at length. So I thought this'd be the optimal time, before my mind gets totally corrupted, to give my short two cents on last night’s debate.

1. Most importantly – Biden kicked ass. He was clear and straightforward, but also honest and gracious. When he spoke, I believed every word he said.
2. Biden also showed tremendous restraint. I know that’s what he had to do, but man I really wish he had pounced on some of Palin’s responses. She flubbed names and circled the issues, and I really wish Biden had called her on it.
3. On that note – umm, seriously Palin? Winking at the audience and dodging literally ALL the questions? We must have heard about her energy policy 5 times, if not more. We know she governs the HUGE, energy-producing state of Alaska, but doesn't she have anything else to talk about? I guess not.
4. But because Palin sounded literate, we will hear the “she nailed it!” spin. Of course. So, Palin, bravo for stringing sentences together. You get a Reading Rainbow certificate of appreciation.
5. And I’m just going to throw this out there: How the HELL are we going to solve the environmental crisis if we don’t first acknowledge the cause of the problem? Logically, that makes ZERO sense.
6. The format sucked. Big time. It favored canned speeches and memorized answers.
7. Along those lines, with all due respect to Ifill, I really wish she had demanded that each candidate (Palin more so) stick to the issue at hand. I remember watching the primary debates, and man oh man Tim Russert really forced the candidates to answer the actual questions. I would have liked to see something similar from Ifill. Oh well.
8. And one other thing, are you kidding me with the “McCain suspended his campaign for the economy” play? McCain didn’t save the economy. He barely “suspended” his campaign, if at all. Can we just call that for what it was – a pure political play?

There’s my pre-spin room rant. If you watched the debate last night, what did you think?

Update: Ok I went into the Internet spin room (I had to!!!). And I found this awesome Palin debate flowchart.

Palin’s "debate bootcamp" lessons

So this VP debate is coming up on Thursday. Quite frankly, I’m more excited for it than I was for last week’s presidential one. I think it's because Palin has been in debate “bootcamp” since last week, and I picture her standing in camo at a podium barking her answers at Beavis and Butthead’s gym teacher Mr. Buzzcut. That image brightens my day.

But seriously, what's she learning at this so-called camp? One can only speculate…

1) Maybe they're convincing her that the picture she claims to have seen? You know, the one of human footprints inside of dinosaur tracks? It was just an instance of witchcraft.

2) Maybe she’s forced to watch an endless loop of Ms. Teen South Carolina’s horrendous “the Iraq” answer a la A Clockwork Orange, just to burn the image out of her head. Because we all know her Couric interview answers were shocking similar. Can you even tell them apart?

"The... things like the terrain even in Afghanistan and that border between Pakistan and Afghanistan, where, you know, we believe that-- Bin Laden is-- is hiding out right now and... and is still such a leader of this terrorist movement. There... there are many more challenges there. So, again, I believe that... a surge in Afghanistan also will lead us to victory there as it has proven to have done in Iraq. And as I say, Katie, that we cannot afford to retreat, to withdraw in Iraq. That's not gonna get us any better off in Afghanistan either. And as our leaders are telling us in our military, we do need to ramp it up in Afghanistan, counting on our friends and allies to assist with us there because these terrorists who hate America, they hate what we stand for with the... the freedoms, the democracy, the... the women's rights, the tolerance, they hate what it is that we represent and our allies, too, and our friends, what they represent."

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our [children].”

3) But if she’s going to say something crazy, maybe they’re teaching her to at least back it up with a  compelling image. Like this one. 

4) And when it comes to actual issues…

a)    First and foremost, for heavens sakes don’t agree with Obama!
b)    On second thought, try to keep your mouth shut as much as possible.
c)    And if (when) you do say something ridiculous, just scream sexism and blame Biden/the moderator/the MSM for intimidating you. Mark my words, that’ll work like a charm.

Wanda Sykes on Leno Sept. 23, 2008 - "Jay, I'm a feminist. But that lady is crazy."

Wanda Sykes never ceases to amaze me. She's cool with dancing on the street corner in a red wig and a ridiculous fake fur coat, she doesn't hesitate to slap sense into Larry David, and, best of all, she's never afraid to tell it like it is.

Last night she appeared on Leno to talk politics and just straight up BROKE. IT. DOWN. I especially enjoyed her description of the Republican National Convention - "it was like watching a meeting in Doctor Evil's lair." My thoughts exactly.

More on The Huffington Post.

Caught on tape! McCain gettin' dirty...

McCain’s icky Education ad prompted me to dig a little deeper and find out the sex ed legislation that Obama actually supported. Here’s what I found, from McClatchy’s fact check:

As a state senator in Illinois, Obama did vote for but was not a sponsor of legislation dealing with sex ed for grades K-12. But the legislation allowed local school boards to teach "age-appropriate" sex education, not comprehensive lessons to kindergartners, and it gave schools the ability to warn young children about inappropriate touching and sexual predators.

Republican Alan Keyes tried to use Obama's vote against him in the 2004 U.S. Senate race. At the time, Obama spoke about wanting to protect young children from abuse. He made clear then that he was not supporting teaching kindergartners about explicit details of sex.

Obama spokesman Bill Burton said Tuesday of McCain's ad: "It is shameful and downright perverse for the McCain campaign to use a bill that was written to protect young children from sexual predators as a recycled and discredited political attack against a father of two young girls."

So I’d like to say thank you to McCain, for helping me to learn a bit more about my candidate.

But all jokes aside, this ad makes me feel sick to my stomach. Like, I’m nauseous right now. I think it has something to do with this screenshot:

 
What do we see here? Obama looking down, shirt ruffled, sleazy grin on his face. What do we hear? A voiceover discussing his support of comprehensive sex ed for kindergartners. And so, I wonder, what are we meant to imagine?  That Obama is looking down at a little kid in a sexual way. And what are we meant to feel, as a gut reaction? Outrage and fear.

Well it worked – I do feel outrage and fear. Outrage that McCain would stoop so low as to dip into the Birth of a Nation playbook , and fear of the filth to come out of his campaign.

Gutter politics indeed.

Related:
Time's Swampland - Apology Not Accepted
HuffingtonPost - Gutter Politics

What if...? Thoughts on teen pregnancy, Sarah Palin and reproductive rights

Couple hypotheticals…

• Close your eyes and imagine Barack Obama’s beautiful 9-year old daughter, Malia. Now imagine her 7 years older, 6 months pregnant and unwed. Would she be labeled as a courageous young woman with strong family values? Would evangelicals rally behind her? Hmm… I'm thinking NO WAY, but that's just me.

• Keep your eyes closed, but now imagine a Sarah Palin presidency with respect to reproductive rights. Roe V. Wade overturned. Abortion illegal, even in the cases of rape and incest—a position that even Cindy McCain opposes. Abstinence taught in schools (along with Creationalism! But that’s a different story). Funding cut for programs that benefit teen moms (see image below)… which would include her own daughter, Bristol. That is, if Bristol were any of the other 749,999 pregnant teens whose story wasn’t being exploited as a Family Values platform by the RNC.

4 steps back. 0 steps forward. And you know what stings the most? All this regression will come at the hands of one of our own, a woman.

(Props to Field Negro/ArtMaggot for the first image)

Related:
Freakonomics - The Numbers on Teen Pregnancy
The Field Negro - Sarah Get Your Gun
Jezebel - Ask Not What Bristol Palin Can Do For You, Ask What Sarah Palin Can Do For Your Pregnant Daughter

Levi Johnston’s MySpace profile and Republican values

I believe that scrutinizing someone’s MySpace profile is more than pure gossip indulgence. It’s deeper than that. Because people take care in choosing their photos, designing their background, crafting their About Me text. After all, one’s MySpace profile really reflects the image that one wishes to put forth to the world. It’s a page of one’s perfect self.

Not only is 18-year old Levi Johnston Bristol Palin’s soon-to-be-husband and baby’s father, but he’s also got one gem of a MySpace profile (now taken down). It’s pure gold.

The profile says less about Bristol Palin (I would never judge the girl, especially solely based on her choice of boyfriend) and more about the tragedy that has become Republican values. I wish I had the entire profile in front of me so I could parse it word by word, but here are the excerpts I was able to glean:

1. “I'm a f *ckin' redneck.” I guess this has become one of those reclaimed terms that the cool kids can use, like the n- word or something. I’m still a little (translate, extremely) uncomfortable with his pride in being a redneck. It’s terribly limited.
2. “I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some sh*t and just f*ckin' chillin' I guess.” Wait… is this the NRA’s new credo? If it's not, it really should be. 
3. He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids." Et voila. A paint-by-numbers case for comprehensive sex ed, birth control information and condom access in American high schools.

So here we have a limited sh*t shooter who’s about to father a kid he doesn’t really want. And I don't blame him for it. Because this young guy is a direct product of the staunch (and oftentimes contradictory) Republican values that have come to shape the party.

Related: Huffington Post write-up

Where were you when Obama received his party's nomination?

I watched Obama’s acceptance speech last night at Vox Populi in Boston, among about 300 other supporters, politicos… and those obvious few who snuck in for the free booze.

Funny, I never thought I’d see the day when the patrons of an entire bar shut their mouths and glue their eyes to the TV for a politician. Last night I looked around the room and saw nothing but saucers – everyone eagerly awaiting Obama’s next word.

As far as the actual speech went—well, I was really hoping to be moved to tears the way I was when Michelle and Biden spoke. In the end, though, talking family values wasn’t Obama’s mission last night (and that’s the stuff that makes me all misty-eyed). He needed to outline a clear plan for how he will make change a reality, and he did just that, point by point—from the economy to the war in Iraq to civil rights. I also thought it was really smart of him to address the “where’s the money coming from” question head-on. No dancing around the issue: his plans will take money, and he has accounted for the source of every penny.

After last night, no one can say that Obama doesn’t have clear strategies in place for executing on his dreams for this country.

On a more personal level, I found this part of his speech particularly inspiring:

We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America's promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort.

The "inherent good in us all" message was one that Obama incorporated in his campaign early on, but one that I haven’t heard in recent months. I’m really glad he’s gone back to it, because this idea is truly powerful. And no one can really refute this message without sounding like a total sleaze ball naysayer.

But let me take a step back. Because last night was bigger than words.

I haven’t lived through too many “I was _____ when _____ happened” events. My parents have tons. I have a few. I was in class on my second day of college when the planes crashed into the World Trade Center towers. I was on the phone with my dad, listening to him say, “Ryan, turn on your T.V. immediately, you won’t believe it—all the people drowning in New Orleans are Black” when Katrina hit.

Now I have another. I was at a bar in Boston, standing next to one of my favorite people in the whole word, my heart racing, my hands clapping, my eyes sparkling, when the first African-American man accepted the Democratic Party’s nomination for president of this country.

Wow.

Related: Obama wrapping it up, my grandparents would have been so proud

Biden, talk race with the Rust Belt

On Saturday morning, when Obama announced Biden as his pick for VP, I knew some Black political bloggers would raise their eyebrows. Hell, the first thing that came to my mind was, “Oh dang, Mr. Clean and Articulate?”

But then I thought back to Biden's remarks during the debates, and specifically the comment he made about Kucinich’s wife (in my opinion, one of the funniest moments in any debate this year). This guy seriously goes there. He makes all those not-quite-PC observations that everyone else in the room is thinking but would never dare to utter. And you know what? Maybe that’s ok. Because I think Biden’s ability to make honest observations based on his personal point-of-view will work wonders among working class (specifically White) voters.

The truth is, I’m actually kind of glad that Obama chose a guy who committed one of the first racial gaffes of the primaries. Biden's gaffe showed that he stereotypes a bit, that's for sure… but don’t we all? And by putting these kinds of stereotypes out in the open, we can better find, understand (and perhaps fix) the root of them.

Biden said something about Obama that other White people might have been thinking. Now Biden has the opportunity to address race on a national level. And I really hope he does. Not on a stage, in front of celebrities and politicians. But rather, in a town hall, among the Rust belt Democrats and Independents who have proven to be very concerned about Obama’s heritage. Biden’s the guy who could easily conduct a get-out-your-fears-on-race vent session.

And then, of course, turn each fear on its silly little head.

Jack and Jill Politics: Now this I like
Jezebel: Obama's VP Choice Lets Loose the Dogs of (Political) War

Obama's VP text/e-mail announcement and faith in the next generation

I remember learning of Barack Obama’s Iowa win via text message. A bunch of my oldschool friends were in town, and the news made an already tasty night even sweeter. Learning of the win “on location” (i.e. at the bar) gave us the opportunity to celebrate night right: we toasted, hugged, bounced around the restaurant excitedly and talked politics for the rest of the evening.

My generation texts everything, because texts cut the crap – good ones are short, easy to follow and, most importantly, informative. Receiving a text that says “what up” is seriously wack. But give me some news or update that I really want, and I’m all over it. I’m hungry for it.

As a digital marketer, I see corporations starting to understand the real opportunity that text messages present. Mobile coupons, text-to-wins, updates – it works if it’s done right. But so many companies are really scared of new media. They don’t trust it

So yesterday I was a bit stunned upon receiving this e-mail from Obama campaign manager David Plouffe. My thoughts went a little something like this: “Announce the VP choice via text and e-mail? Seriously? He’s crazy. Oh, and that’s so ridiculously awesome, I gotta go sign up right away.”

 

The choice that the Obama campaign made is daring, that’s for sure. They’re putting tremendous faith in new media. But it’s funny, by using new media - my media - and as the only platform to announce such important news, I feel as though the Obama campaign is tremendous faith in me as well – which feels really good.

Because you and I both know that when I receive the VP text, I’ll shout it out all over the bar. Apparently the Obama campaign knows that too.

Related:
Washington Post: Obama Nearing a Veep Decision?

New racist anti-Obama e-mail (hopefully not) coming to an inbox near you!

My friend's co-worker actually received this at her work e-mail address. From a vendor. Isn't that crazy? Someone she barely even knows - someone who means to do business with her - is sending her this filth. The person who sent this must think everyone's on the same page when it comes to race-hating. Which is scary, because it leads me to believe that everyone around this person is on the same page.

I've never seen this particular e-mail before. I think the subject line is trying to be clever or something with the Guess Who's Coming to Dinner reference, but it seems the person who wrote it didn't quite understand what s/he was referencing.

And the photo attached to the e-mail (a huge attachment, I might add - shown below) works hard to be beyond offensive. It manages to evoke the painful image of the trans-Atlantic slave trade, poke fun at African-American culture, depict Black Arabs as dirty and dusty, suggest dark-skinned people are nothing but animals (who can miraculously survive packed so closely together) AND drum up the newfound American fear of refugees.

I.e., These people are taking over our glorious country! And Obama's their main man! So if he gets elected, they're all hear to stay. Forever. Regular Americans will become the second-class citizens!

Sick and sad.

This is your brain. This is your brain on hope.

This MoveOn.org ad for Obama is freaking dorky, to say the least. Would've been funnier had it been a bit more over-the-top... though I do like the "sorry mom!" crying bit.  But the "brain on hope" ending - EEK (Sidenote: the guy holding the chick is none other than Rider Strong, the third "hunk" to appear in my Cutest MEN of 1994 scrapbook). This ad reminds me of the unintentionally hilarious anti-drug ad from 1987 (below), which I found just as goofy at the age of 4 (when it came out) as I do now.

Open Letter: Talking politics with Google Adsense doesn’t make sense

Dear Google Adsense,

What are you trying to do to me? Isn’t your service called Google Adsense? Aren’t you supposed to “match ads to [my] site's content… ads so well-matched, in fact, that [my] readers will actually find them useful”? You do a marginal job at best, and when it really counts you fail miserably.

What am I referring to, you ask? I'll tell you what: these stupid GOP ads. I hardly ever even mention their candidate by name (exemplified by the screenshot below, taken from a May post), and yet you continue to serve this crummy animated GIF at the bottom of 9 out of 10 of my political posts.

I wish you’d just sit down and read my blog once it a while. Understand it. Because right now, I feel like you don’t get me at all – like we’re not on the same page in this relationship. I really don’t want to end things with you, but it might come to that if you keep misinterpreting my feelings.

Best,
Ryan 

And to my readers – please ignore the GOP ad that’s probably at the bottom of this post. Clearly, I do not support their candidate’s campaign.

In defense of Barry Blitt's New Yorker Obama cover

 You all know that I’m the first one to point out all things offensive. I call out any –ism wherever I see it – from media coverage and interviews to New York streets and Boston watering holes.

So it might come as a surprise when I say that I find Barry Blitt's June 21st New Yorker cover (shown above) quite provocative and necessary.

Some say that the image merely parrots attacks we've already seen; that it contributes and/or reinforces instead of parodies. In addition, both the Obama and McCain camps have expressed their outrage over the cover, in addition to countless bloggers and media pundits.

But I understand each element of this cover as pure satire in an attempt to depict all the absolutely ridiculous ways that the Obamas have been illustrated, in an absolutely ridiculous and almost routine way. Let’s go through each element one by one.

1. Barack's outfit. Clearly Muslim attire (sandals and all). Satirizes the myth that Barack Obama is Muslim, and furthermore, that being Muslim is somehow a bad, scary thing (oh, the horror of a Muslim in the Oval Office!).
2. Barack's glance. It’s saying “Yeah, I’m in the Oval Office now. What you gonna do about it?” I think this is a nod to two attacks: a) the idea that Obama is somehow elitist/above it all and doesn’t really care about the needs/wants of the American people, 2) the idea that he’s secretive and mysterious – he has his own hidden, “terrorist” agenda.
3. The fist bump. It became shockingly clear the right-wing MSM had no clue about African-American culture after Barack and Michelle’s nomination dap. And, I think, this realization frightened the beejesus out of them. So again, we can see the New Yorker’s depiction here as a satire of the right-wing’s fear of the unknown, and in turn, their spinning it into something foreign, secretive and suspicious. I understand this bump as a satire of what Fox News called a “terrorist fist jab”, and also another depiction of the Obamas “taking over the good ol’ U.S.A.” in scary, “un-American” ways.
4. Bin-Laden portrait on the wall. I think that one’s obvious.
5. Burning American flag. A satire to the whisper that Obama is “unpatriotic” and “not really a true American.” We can look back to all man-on-the-street interviews from the West Virginia primary for a reference of what Blitt is satirizing.
6. Michelle's outfit. Camo pants, military boots and machine gun all reference that militant, Black Panther, Black Power image that many Americans seem to be terrified of. She’s the African-American who hates “whitey” and is secretly plotting to mow down every golf course and Yacht club this side of the Atlantic.
7. Michelle's Afro, big lips, hand on hip. Ok, here’s the one that many people are struggling with, as these characteristics come straight from the African-American stereotype playbook. But I see this depiction as a satire of Michelle Obama, the “angry Black woman” – a label that Fox News has been trying to pin on her for months. Her whole stance screams, “<sucks teeth> Sheeeit, I will CUT you if you come to close. Don’t mess.” And clearly, Michelle Obama looks, talks, thinks, acts nothing like the “angry Black woman” stereotype, and that’s why I think this depiction works.

Perhaps each element is mundane, as we've heard all of these attacks before. But maybe 1,000% over-the-top + mundane is exactly what the American public needs to truly see the routine, casual racism that the Obamas have had to endure. In fact, I’d venture to say that if this cover were toned down at all, THEN it would be offensive. Because a slight reference to all the “scary elements” that people have been trying to pin on the Obamas might go unnoticed or overlooked. One might see a toned down cover (perhaps Obama with a headwrap, Michelle with hand-on-hip and boots, perhaps) and think, “Yep, that’s the Obamas. Very true to life.”

But this depiction is patently and unashamedly satire. And I think this crazy cover will force people to a) really reflect upon all of the offensive labels and attacks that have been hurled at the Obamas, and b) keep their eyes open for other attacks that might fall into the satirized categories.

And, hopefully, the outcome will be a readiness to see through inherently racist attacks as both sickeningly silly and tediously tiresome.

Related:
Huffington Post, with other Blitt covers: Barry Blitt Defends His New Yorker Cover Art of Obama
Gawker Opinion

Attack of the racist GOP pins! Maybe there's a silver lining...

There were being sold at the Texas GOP Convention. And it's only June...

But you want to know something? I'm actually happy the GOP is being so idiotically obvious with their bigotry. Crap like this will do nothing but seal the Democrats together. Like glue. This ridiculousness might even push some Moderates into our corner.

So GOP, go ahead and bring on the blackface. I double dog dare ya.

Related:
Poltico: Ben Smith's Blog