Girl Date

  

My first night in Chicago, I rolled 2 suitcases into an empty apartment that was somehow “mine” and promptly freaked out.  I couldn’t stay there alone, on a sofa I’d just bought off a stranger (the only piece of furniture in the apartment at the time). So I ran to a friend’s house – a girl from Boston who came to Chicago for a 2-month project – and crashed on her couch for the rest of the week. At that point, she was my only friend in the city.

When she left, though, I was on my own to meet people. And can I just say, traditional ways of “making friends” (especially girlfriends) is WAY harder than you’d expect. It sucks. Bad. It sucks so bad that I’m going to write a whole separate post about it sometime.

That’s why last week I asked out my waitress. I was at a bar feeling pretty outgoing after a few too many Bombay-and-Tonics. She was serving my table trying to get us extra food and drink deals. She mentioned she just moved from Brooklyn and had a thing for dead birds… and I was sold. A girl at my table and I asked her out on a “friendship date” – just 3 East Coast gals on the town! - and the coolest part about it was that she didn’t find the proposition weird at all. She seemed flattered, in fact. We exchanged numbers, a few fun-loving texts, and next thing I knew I had plans for the following Tuesday.

What an awesome time we had.

If you’re a young woman living in a new city, I highly recommend this mode of meeting new people. Making girlfriends is so hard because – it seems to me – women are far less likely to put themselves out there for other women. We chitchat and exchange numbers and go out on dates with guys, but we don’t put that same energy towards making girlfriends… which is infinitely more important than wasting time worrying about guys who turn out to be pathological liars or self-obsessed sommeliers or – God forbid – BOTH (that actually happened, thankfully not to me). Forget that. Right now, I'd much rather enjoy an al fresco brunch and people watch with a gal pal.

Comments

[Slava Menn]

Good post!

Guys have even more trouble with this. A bro asking out a bro? Rough. I ask out dudes based on professional interests. Let's get a beer and talk about software startups. Two bro dates next week. I'm on a roll.

PS: I resent the innuendo you make with the wrestling photo. Wrestling is the most fundamental, heterosexual sport in the history of mankind.

[James]

I always have problems making friends; I switch countries a lot.

I never thought to friend ask out my server. Next time I eat out, watch out world, I'm bringing back a friend.