When a commenter starts to freak you out

Blogging’s tricky. You become the ruler of a little piece of the web and, as such, you’re faced with these surreal, technology-meets-antiquity dilemmas. “How much should I expose?” "Must I be humble or powerful?" “What is my relationship to my ‘court’, (ie, the commenters)?"

This is my blog. And because it’s mine, I can write what I want. So I write what I know: my interpretations on topics that are important to me. I push myself to really explore difficult, often prickly issues – mostly pertaining to race and interracial-ness. I know my posts can be a bit controversial, and I welcome an open dialogue.

Dialogue. What is dialogue? Dialogue is when you respond to an idea with another idea. It could be a build on the original idea. Or it could be a counterpoint.

What is NOT dialogue? When you respond to an idea with a tirade. When you misrepresent your rage for intelligence. When you create pointless openings to scream and shout and blab on and on about how angry you are.

I’m SO VERY against censoring the comments on this blog. Barring the removal of spam, I don’t exercise comment moderation. But, after months and months of one commenters rants and vindictive posts, I just can’t justify leaving the stuff up. I've tried to refrain from formally responding to this commenter's insulting, downright disturbing diatribes. They’re too hate-filled for me to even go there. I have addressed the topic that gets him so angry, though. Because the topic is important to me.

But now it's just gone too far. This is the comment that did in said commenter:

…and see a Black women cling so feverishly to the persons and the portions of a culture systemically inclined to disregard each and every aspect of her being, is like waiting to watch an accident you know is bound to happen. You can’t help but wait for the impact.

Main reason why this comment sucks so bad:

Contradictory motives. Apparently I cling to people that disregard “every aspect of my being” (if you've been following this person's comments, that would be White people), which leads me to surmise that this commenter would rather I “cling” solely to other Black people. But then in the next sentence s/he admits s/he’s waiting to watch me crash. Isn’t that a total disregard for “my being” as well? And, commenter, arent... you... Black? So... what's with your perverse desire to not only WATCH a fellow person of color hurt, but to go COMPLETELY out of your way to contribute to it? So sickening.

But also:
Use of big words and fancy grammar to sound smart/bolster a point. Dude, you’re not fooling anyone.

And to top it off, the commenter displays:
Stalker tendencies. After countless awful comments, I did a quick glance at my basic analytics - and I’m speculating this commenter Googles my name at least 6 times a day (yeah, at this point I have NO problem calling him/her out on it). To spew rage all over my blog. Hi, that’s not normal.

The truth is, I’m not so much angry at this person. No, what PISSES ME OFF is having to, from now on, delete a reader’s comments. That’s not what bloggings all about, at all.

But frankly, this commenter has issues that run far deeper than I’d like to delve. And I don’t need such negativity in my own, personal space. That being said, I’ve gotta play brutal blogger and ban "nothavingit" from my court. So that's it. Goodbye. I hope you stop throwing punches at the wind and start smiling someday.

-Ryan ☺

Comments

[pdaddy]

Yay!!! Pdaddy has tried at various times to talk some sense into nothavingit. But to no avail. He even distorts my comments to suit his sad rants. I have always been amazed at how bold and hostile some people become when they comment on blogs. Apparently, the anonymity of cyberspace brings that out in some people.

[Nikki]

Good move, Ryan. It's not just the perennial negativity of "nothavingit's" posts on this site that constitute a reason to ban him, it's also, even more disturbing, the guy's penchant for trying to obliterate your spirit. The latter indicates a very sad and dangerous guy, a bully.
Wonder if he has his own blog. If he does, what a major downer it must be.

[Colin]

Good move Ryan! Even when under attack, you "cling feverishly" to your ideals and your advocacy of free speech by choosing to self-monitor. Someone who manages to contradict him/herself in two sentences doesn't have the currency of character or credibility to shake the foundation of a reputation you've been building for years. I applaud 'nothavingit'; in commenting on your aspect of character, he's let you showcase your AWESOME character and blown wind into the sail of a cause s/he seems to be trying to sink. Ha! Match point: Ryan. Kudos for not resorting to Liskula Cohen-esque threats.