My new boss is totally hot

Pro: Inspiring style.
Con: The money I will probably definitely spend on a new Fall wardrobe.

Tell me about your boss. I'm interested.

Comments

[nothavingit]

More slobbering on white people?

Not just men this time, but women?

Sheesh.

Next time you bump into Rev. Jackson . . . could you just hang out with him for a bit maybe? Maybe ask him a few questions about, oh, I don't know, African American culture?

[Manny Stevens]

nothavingit
dont you have anything better to do in your virtual life?

[pdaddy]

Hey Ryan,

Yes, she is pretty hot. But you better be careful, 'cause if you say that--if you say she (re: your white boss) looks good and you'd like to emulate something about her wardrobe, personality, or general style--you would be betraying your inner racist tendencies. Moreover, you'd be publicly exposing a deep seated psychological angst about your bi-racial identity. Or, if not any of that, you'd at least be telling all of us that you wish you had a better hair stylist so as to make your hair, and you, look more White (which gets us back to your inner angst!).

Anyway, that's what your ardent lurker and general pestering commenter, so-called "not having it," seems to think. Not having what? I wonder. A sense of humor? A shred of compassion? A playful moment? An intellect that can recognize wit and critique (re: his sniveling comment on your recent post about the ad industry and hair products)?

Yo, nothavingit, I have been reading this blog for a while now. And every time you comment, you misunderstand and misrepresent what the post was about. Why is that so? Maybe you are a cynic who sees ulterior motives everywhere--re: Ryan is a closet racist. (You aren't a skeptic because a skeptic will at least get the terms of the argument right and then offer a cogent and intelligent rejoinder.) Maybe you are just an overall grouch, a curmudgeon. Maybe you just hate yourself.

Whatever it is, go to the store and buy some insight. It's located just past those hair products that Ryan talked about a couple of posts ago. And while you're at it, take a look in the mirror...and then tell us all if you like what you see. That would be the fair thing to do if you are going to persist in making snide and cynical remarks to this blogger's arguments and self-revelations.

[cnkeach]

Ryan,

What interesting responses this post has gotten. It’s neat that Manny and Pdaddy called out “nothaving it” on it. I suspect that he is a grouchy guy who really doesn’t get the fact that many, many, many women are interested in looking stylish and like to check out how women dress they think are particularly stylish.

It’s about the hairstyle, clothes, shoes, make-up, handbag and other accessories. Doesn’t matter what the race (or, often, age) of the woman. It’s the gear worn by a woman who dresses with a flair for fashion and what suits her and the way she wears it all -- that’s what catches the eye of many a woman with a fashion sense. Often, you get great fashion tips just by looking. That’s how I read Ryan’s post.

Humm . . Thinking about buying something red -- a blouse or a v-necked sweater! And a few other things. Thanks, Ryan, for getting me interested in the seasonal clothing shift.

[nothavinigit]

@ Pdaddy

You wrote:

“But you better be careful, 'cause if you say that… you'd be publicly exposing a deep seated psychological angst about your bi-racial identity.”

***
Given the length and breadth in with the author of this site has (a) written extensively on the irredeemably offensive way in which black men find their cultural and sexual agency through dating white women and, ironically enough (b), professing without pause the egalitarian graces of white men and their characteristics of courtship [in direct comparison to the crude and intimidating way in which black men go about the business of expressing their romantic interest], it’s safe to say that we’ve long since past that particular point.

The race angst on this blog is waist deep. And I submit to you
that your comment suggests you’ve seen it as well.

But It’s not the angst that one observes this site for, it’s the sublime ignorance to that raging inner conflict that is already available to readers who knows a thing or two about what cultural confusion reads like.

Especially to those who—purely out of interest—want to see what happens when a person of color, totally blind to the false conceptions of their diminished worth and limited ability in modern America, meet that inevitable moment at which they simply must.

To read this site, and to know fully all the ways in which race is handled—or mishandled—in our workplaces, our churches, even our own homes, and see a Black women cling so feverishly to the persons and the portions of a culture systemically inclined to disregard each and every aspect of her being, is like waiting to watch an accident you know is bound to happen.

You can’t help but wait for the impact.

[cnkeach]

Pdaddy,

Sheesh, guy. I'm disheartened to read your initial comment and your reply to pdaddy. I wonder why you insist on vilifying Ryan rather than commenting on the topic she has posted -- fashion. Strikes me that you're engaging in a kind of worrisome stalking that would concern me if I were Ryan.

"You can't help but wait for the impact."

Huh???? Now that's downright scary. Ryan would be wise to delete such comments maybe even ban you completely. I know I wouldn't want this kind of mean spirited whining associated with anything I might write. But then, that's me, and also why I don't blog or deal with Facebook. There are just too many folks on the net these days like you, nothavingit, who seem to get a kick out of being cruel. I wonder how often you check out this blog.

[cnkeach]

BIG mistake. The comment I just wrote should be addressed to "nothavingit," not Pdaddy.

[RyanB]

cnkeach -
You're right. I'm done with it.

[pdaddy]

Well, nothavingit, all I can say is that you seem to have a fixation with dating and mating. You are stuck on a misguided notion that this blogger professes (your word) that white guys are more worth the effort in those departments than black guys. It doesn't click with you that her posts on those matters have not professed (re: have not asserted or argued from a point of fact or a basis in research) anything of the kind. What has occurred in her posts, at times, is a kind of public soul-searching about the ways one's (hers) choice of an intimate other is linked to questions and issues of identity. These questions and issues include, but are not limited to, racial identity. You have taken her musings and her ideas on these matters, distorted them, taken personally your own distortions, and then acted on your distortions in a hostile way. A psychologist would call this whole process 'transference.' In this case, Ryan's posts about race, intimacy, and identity have spurred YOUR angst about lost opportunities, perceived social injustice, and perceived personal slights from white people. Sad thing is, you actually seem to be able to articulate some interesting ideas about race, intimacy, and identity. But you also seem to feel so terrible about (your) life, and about your-self, that the best you can do is spray around contempt and hostility in the guise of reasoned critique.

I can say without doubt that you are simply wrong about Ryan. While she has shown a tendency to date white men, this does not make her a traitor to her African-American heritage. And Ryan is not a lightweight intellectually, as you seem so eager to insinuate whenever you write. I can say without doubt that I know Ryan would not date YOU (black, white, or whatever) because you have a bug up your ass, because you are a hostile person, because you are a bully. I can say all of these things because I know her--she is my daughter. I normally wouldn't come out with that information, but you need to know who you are dealing with here--not me, but her. If only you knew the real person you ingloriously misrepresent, malign, and insult. But, of course, that won't happen. You'll just be content to lurk here and snipe at her whenever you get the chance. That's sad. I submit to you that it is your angst, your sadness, and your anger that keep you from getting to know the truly good people in this world and that stand in the way of you reaching your true potential.

[cnkeach]

"Nohavingit's" psychological attacks on Ryan are worrisome to me because he seems to be standing by waiting for a meltdown that he is certain is in Ryan's future. I wonder how "nothavingit" would expect to be privy to it? [Does he expect to see it in a blog post? That probably won't happen. Perhaps he in close proximity to Ryan, unbeknownst to her. I surely hope not.]

Yeah, Ryan, ban this guy. This really seems like stalking to me.