Ryan's Wish List: May 2007

April showers bring Mayflowers, and with any luck also some of these happy little treats:

1. An extremely cute brown Mini Rex bunny rabbit that also fits into the new breed “POOPLESS.”
2. And if poopless bunnies aren’t currently available, I need to get over my very vocal aversion to punt-able small dogs and admit to the world that I actually find Puggles adorable. Then I want a Puggle that costs less than $1,500 to keep me company when I’m lonely and to disappear when I’m on vacation or watching America’s Next Top Model.
3. An excuse to laugh so hard that I can barely breathe.
4. Cheap lobsters, 3.
5. A way of permanently erasing the memory of the "Bush Dancing with the Africans” clip while simultaneously punching him in the face.
6. A wireless chip for my iPod so that I can sync it to iTunes without plugging it in to my computer. Moreover, this chip would enable download of content straight from the source to the iPod. So, for example, someone I know loves NPR podcasts – I want him to be able to subscribe to the NPR feed directly from his iPod and cut out the middleman. I’m sure someone out there can tell me if/when I can find something like this… yes?
7. The ability to stop biting this one, sorry nail – my ring finger on my left hand. It’s gotten ridiculous. Only really happens when I concentrate on something, so maybe I should just stop concentrating.
8. A hottie little black dress for my friend’s wedding in July – where should I look?
9. A real reason to go on Facebook. It’s so boring right now… every time I login to my account I take deep sigh of regret for the 30 seconds I’ve wasted. Sometimes my mouth goes numb and I start drooling a little as well (it’s weird).
10. Private, one-person bathrooms at work with background muzak and Charmin’ toilet paper.

Hopefully I’ll be able to check off some of these items by the end of the month. Feel free to contact with any suggestions on how to do so.

Comments

[Slava]

In response to #10, bring the following supplies to your office:
- Radio tuned to Oldies 103
- A bunch of big sheets
- Charmin TP, scented
- Febreze, lysol, or something
- A little kid potty bucket

Step 1: Have one of your coworkers create a diversion on the other side of the room.
Step 2: Hang one sheet over your cube, one in front. Maybe put up a sign that says "Out to Lunch"
Step 3: Han one tapestry over your cube so your boss can't peek in.
Step 4: Turn up the radio so no one here's any "sound effects".
Step 5: Poo!
Step 6: Wipe (optional)
Step 7: Spray Febreze like crazy
Step 8: Put everything away (hide under your desk, or something.

Maybe you can get the bunny to poo like this too.