I enjoy the Millionaire Matchmaker as much as the next couch potato, but there’s something about Patti Stanger’s “tough love” critiquing that irks the hell outta me. It’s her outright rejection of short and /or curly hair, and the blanket statement that men with money are not attracted to these attributes. I’m not the only one who’s just a little bit annoyed by this – the lovely ladies at Naturally Curly have created a Facebook Group dedicated to stopping the “curl bashing”.
But from my vantage point, I take issue with her views for two reasons:
1) It’s just not true. I have extremely curly hair, which I wore long for quite some time, and I now wear super duper short (basically, I asked my stylist for a little boy’s haircut, haha). And here’s what I know, from personal experience: 10 times out of 10 men very much prefer my hair curly to straight. And – to my surprise, actually – I've gotten more attention wearing my hair short than long. Imagine that.
2) The statement is actually kinda racist. I mean, think about it. If you’re a Black woman, your hair is curly by nature. Sorry world, that’s just how it is. So Patti seems to be advocating relaxers (you know, those chemicals that can burn through a plastic cup if left for a couple days…those chemicals that make hair break and fall out - super great stuff) and curling irons (straight from the horse’s mouth, on her Facebook page: “I like stylish curly/wavy hair, but my millionaire men don't. So, go buy a flat iron...). Either that, or she’s saying men are fundamentally NOT attracted to us. Boo for Black women, tough luck, we won’t find love because our hair isn’t desirable to men as a species. Because all men think alike, after all – or at least men with money do.
Maybe Patti doesn’t understand the damage that straightening a Black woman’s hair can reek - both to her hair and, in my opinion, to her sense of self. Or, more likely, maybe she does and she just doesn’t give a crap. Either way, she’s wrong. So wrong.