CheapThrills

Happy Friday!

Gets me every time.

Black women want their heads rubbed, too

Now that this week’s Oprah schedule is up on her site, I guess I can divulge which taping I attended (and if this isn’t supreme coincidence I don’t know what is): Chris Rock’s dish on his new documentary, “Good Hair”. In fact, we audience members attended the film’s North American film debut, right here in downtown Chicago.  

The show airs today, September 30th (set your DVRs!). But before it does, I’d like to comment on an issue that Rock discusses both in the film and during his visit with Oprah: the “no touch” rule when it comes to Black women’s hair (i.e. if you’re dating a Black woman, don’t even try to get near her head). According to Rock, Black men are “thirsty” to touch a head of hair, and Black women’s "keep away" policy causes intimacy issues.  

So I’ll venture this, and then explain: Black women’s scalps are equally parched from lack of attention. Yes, our hair is thirsty for love, too.  

Deeper than the “my hair will get messed up” mantra, I think the root of the problem lies in insecurity. And why not? Us women of color have always been taught that, in its natural state, our hair is not beautiful. So we hide behind weaves and wigs and relaxers, quite literally putting up a barriers between our scalps and the hands of others.  

At least in my experience, the fake-ification of my hair promoted my own hair insecurity. When I had a relaxer, my hair was never normal - but instead “oily” or “brittle” or “damaged”. It couldn’t get wet. It would break if I was – forced to – swim during PE. And oh, the lies I told my White friends back then! They’d ask, “How long does it take you to straighten your hair every morning?” I’d reply, “Oh, awhile.” Never letting on that I actually hadn’t washed it for 2 weeks. Because, in my mind, telling them that would make them think I was dirty (when in reality, it’s just not good to wash, blow dry, and hot iron relaxed hair very often). And so, when my first serious boyfriend didn’t want to rub my scalp because my hair was “too greasy”, I pretty much deemed my hair off-limits. It wasn’t that I didn’t want my head rubbed; it was more that I was ashamed.  And, quite honestly, having someone you care about halfheartedly rub your head for a second and then wipe off his hand on his jeans burns more than any relaxer on the shelf.  

Of course, these stories are from high school. I don’t have a relaxer anymore and I’m proud of my hair now, but I’ll be honest – the insecurity lingers. That’s why, even today, there are only a handful of people who I allow near my head. They’re the ones who I know are actually enjoying my hair. The ones I trust with all my insecurities. Because, as a woman of color, when someone rubs your head you’re completely dropping your guard, thus putting your complete SELF into their hands. It can be sensual, but definitely not by definition. It’s love (think Celie "scratching the song" out of Shug's head in "The Color Purple").

It's sacred.  

So back to Chris Rock and men not being allowed to touch Black women’s hair. My advice: If you’re a man and you’re with a Black woman, offer to give her a legit scalp massage. Say you’ll be careful not to mess up her hair – all you want is for her to lay down and close her eyes and relax. She may turn you down, but believe me, the offer will light her up.

Oprah!

No, I haven't met her (yet...) but they're filming the Oprah Show season premier right outside of my office. They've shut down Michigan Ave. from Ohio to Wacker, so I walked through the craziness this morning and can see everything from our office windows. I'll try to get a better picture later today or tomorrow. And get coffee with her after she's finished taping, naturally.

Related - My New Friend

Watch the Flight of the Conchords Season 2 Premiere here

I've been waiting for HBO's Flight of the Conchords Season 2 premiere for what seems like years... well, actually, maybe it has been years. Geez - how can Bankable Productions put out three seasons of America's Next Top Model in nine months but quality television programming takes ages?

Anyhoops, the entire premiere is available for our online viewing pleasure. I've embedded it here for all y'all. I haven't watched it yet - so we can have a dish session all together. Good? Bad? Amazing? I'll tell ya what I think in the comments, then you tell me your take.

Happy conchording!

Season 2 Online Premiere - Flight of the Conchords (US Only) - watch more funny videos

Mad Men again... AMC's online casting contest produces gems

The You Could Be On Mad Men Contest: make the best 1-minute video and get flown out to L.A. for a walk-on role in a future episode of the show. Great use of user-generated video.

But also, some of these entries are freaking crazy! It's like, either the actors takes themselves way too seriously (umm, what's up with all the camera cuts here?), or they just kinda suck,

OR they make a mockery of the whole thing. Like this one (clip below), by Victor Fischbarg. He only has 2 votes so far, so he probably won't get very far. But dude. Come on. The hand? That's awesome. You'll win my eternal admiration if you can find a more craptacular character rendition.

A TGIF gift - Jordan Catalano to Angela Chase: "Can we... can we go somewhere?"

Going slightly off topic here, mainly because I’m pretty disappointed and disgruntled with the whole “electability” argument within Dem nomination race (I’ll save my thoughts for a separate post), but also partly because it’s Friday and sunny outside and I want to share something wonderful with you.

Yesterday I took a day drip to NYC on the Acela Express. On the way home I treated myself to a couple episodes of My So-Called Life, which is basically the best show in the history of television. And also a testament to the deteriorated state of television program these days – mean, seriously, ever time I turn on the tube I’m either bombarded with “text 55555 to vote for your favorite whatever” or some quirky comedy show that isn’t really funny to anyone other than the people who wrote it.

But man, My So-Called Life was real. The real deal. I was 13 when it came out, just a little younger than the main character Angela Chase, but the show still spoke to me in a way that nothing else could. Or ever will. I know this because even now, 12 years later, the show gives me goosebumps—especially this clip. Leading up to this scene, Angela Chase (Claire Danes) and the crush of her life Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto) have been meeting in the school’s boiler room to make out. But when she goes to meet him out in public, he rejects her in front of everyone. He treats her totally differently in private than he does in front of his friends (I don’t know how many times I’ve heard/seen/experienced the exact same thing). But then, something changes. He realizes that she’s real, and he begins to admit to himself that he likes her for who she is. This clip shows the last scene of the episode.

We need more programming like this! But in the meantime, I guess we’ve always got YouTube. Much to Big Media’s dismay.