As if going through a break-up isn’t hard enough, now we have to experience it all double-time online.
When I got defriended by him, my heart sank. And then, when his relationship status changed from “In A Relationship” to “Single”, something inside of me died. Just a couple clicks of the mouse, a few taps of the ‘ol keypad, and suddenly… 1) My life has been “redefined” and 2) Everyone knows about it. Which is silly, right? It’s all “virtual”, right? I mean really, such weight we put on the little broken heart icon Facebook uses to symbolize a broken relationship.
But see, the problem is, that stupid icon gets broadcasted to everyone—and, in the end, this ridiculous piece of crap broken heart icon is the thing that sums up the 4.5 years you’ve spent giving your actual heart to the person you’ve loved all these years.
I just could not do it. I could not allow an icon define all the complexities of my botched relationship. It felt so petty somehow. So, instead of following suit and letting all of my acquaintances, co-workers, friends-of-friends, middle-school classmates, etc. in on my excruciating break-up, I called it quits.
I deactivated my account.
I think it’s better this way. Judging from the amount of time I spent/wasted on the site – not to mention the eminent harmful ramifications of one click, one “new life” picture uploaded, one drunken wall message posted – I think it’s safe to say the relationship became unhealthy.
Maybe we can work it out. Maybe with distance will come understanding. Or acceptance. But, for now, I can’t feel anything past the twists in my stomach. So, for now, Facebook will have to remain something everyone else is raving about. A little bit like love, I guess.