Palin’s "debate bootcamp" lessons

So this VP debate is coming up on Thursday. Quite frankly, I’m more excited for it than I was for last week’s presidential one. I think it's because Palin has been in debate “bootcamp” since last week, and I picture her standing in camo at a podium barking her answers at Beavis and Butthead’s gym teacher Mr. Buzzcut. That image brightens my day.

But seriously, what's she learning at this so-called camp? One can only speculate…

1) Maybe they're convincing her that the picture she claims to have seen? You know, the one of human footprints inside of dinosaur tracks? It was just an instance of witchcraft.

2) Maybe she’s forced to watch an endless loop of Ms. Teen South Carolina’s horrendous “the Iraq” answer a la A Clockwork Orange, just to burn the image out of her head. Because we all know her Couric interview answers were shocking similar. Can you even tell them apart?

"The... things like the terrain even in Afghanistan and that border between Pakistan and Afghanistan, where, you know, we believe that-- Bin Laden is-- is hiding out right now and... and is still such a leader of this terrorist movement. There... there are many more challenges there. So, again, I believe that... a surge in Afghanistan also will lead us to victory there as it has proven to have done in Iraq. And as I say, Katie, that we cannot afford to retreat, to withdraw in Iraq. That's not gonna get us any better off in Afghanistan either. And as our leaders are telling us in our military, we do need to ramp it up in Afghanistan, counting on our friends and allies to assist with us there because these terrorists who hate America, they hate what we stand for with the... the freedoms, the democracy, the... the women's rights, the tolerance, they hate what it is that we represent and our allies, too, and our friends, what they represent."

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our [children].”

3) But if she’s going to say something crazy, maybe they’re teaching her to at least back it up with a  compelling image. Like this one. 

4) And when it comes to actual issues…

a)    First and foremost, for heavens sakes don’t agree with Obama!
b)    On second thought, try to keep your mouth shut as much as possible.
c)    And if (when) you do say something ridiculous, just scream sexism and blame Biden/the moderator/the MSM for intimidating you. Mark my words, that’ll work like a charm.

Comments

[CNKeach]

Didn't watch the presidential debates last Friday. I know who I'm voting for and as I age, I find that I just don't want to find myself yelling at inanimate objects, i.e. McCain. However, I'm on board for the VP debates. I'm looking forward to seeing how Palin does and on what basis her team will claim victory, as they surely will.

[Jane]

Damn, that image of Putin is f-ing hilarious.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle watching the VP debate, honestly. I'm afraid I might cringe myself to death.

[jpastor]

u'll appreciate this:

http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/7827/palinxy5.jpg

[RyanB]

Juan, is that a real screen shot from her Facebook? Hilarious.